Impostor

So, I went to the Apple store today to get a car charger and case for my iPod. Every time I’m in there, I feel like I’m perpetrating a lie. I feel like an impostor. I feel like somehow they’re going to know that I’m not really a Mac user. Somehow they’re going to know that I’m really a Windows user and that usually, I can be called on to defend Windows and attack Macs. Then, they’ll either try to convert me or maim me. I know Mac users are supposed to be the happy, think “different” people, enjoying their iLives to the fullest with their pristine white computers and matching peripherals, but seriously, they’re frightening fanaticism about Macs sometimes leads me to believe that if given the right provocation, they will attack.

Of course, there’s part of me that’s almost asking for it. I’m in there, I’m buying accessories, I’m blending in and then I have to shoot my mouth off as if to prove to anybody who might have thought otherwise that I am not a Mac fanatic or a even a Mac user. “Uh, iPod for WINDOWS please. That’s right– I am not a subscriber to your grammatically incorrect mantra of ‘think different’!”

Case in point: my conversation with the guy at the register.

“You have the old iPod, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, just making sure because these accessories only work with the old iPod.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just trying to buy them up before they’re not available anymore.”

“I know what you mean, but hey, it’s okay. It still works right?” (smiles at me to communicate that it’s okay I have the decrepit, clunky, not-so-mini first generation 5 GB iPod as long as it still works)

“Yeah, it works. You know, my battery still works.”

I don’t know why I needed to point out (passive aggressively) that they’ve managed to screw over so many people with their shoddy batteries on the second generation iPods, but there you go, I did it. I can’t help myself. Maybe Windows users really are evil.