Tag Archives: dating

96% Nerd, 61% Geek, 13% Dork

I joined OKCupid on a whim (mostly because it’s free). They have personality tests like most dating sites do to better match you with other members. I took one today called “The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test.” I apparently scored 96% Nerd, 61% Geek and 13% Dork, amounting to being a “Modern, Cool Nerd.” Which is good, I guess.

More interesting is the breakdown of each word/category:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

In true nerd form, I found this interesting and worth sharing.

meeteor.com is coming soon…

Life has been busy– aside from work and school, I’ve been spending what little free time I have working with my friend on a new business idea: meeteor.com. The concept: a dating site for alumni of select academic institutions. The current (tentative?) list includes the following exclusive sixteen, in alphabetical order:

The site is actually my friend’s brainchild and, for the most part, I’m the technical heavy lifting part of our little team of two. In general, we know that there are a lot of people who are alumni of these schools– i.e., our friends and people like our friends– and are having a hard time finding people to date, despite using services like Match.com and other online dating services. And to some, a site like meeteor.com might smack of elitism or just plain snobbery, but the reality is that people use a variety of factors as filters when selecting who to date, everything from race or ethnicity to height and weight to taste in music or books. So, of course, educational background is a possible factor and it’s up to individuals to decide how important it is, which will decide whether or not they use our site and whether a particular educational background is an absolute requirement when selecting a mate. But more importantly, educational background can be an important factor because college– at least four years of undergraduate and however many more years of graduate school– is an extraordinarily influential and memorable period in a person’s life and people who graduated from the same school or similar schools often share common backgrounds, experiences and views in the same way people from the same regional areas or cultures do. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what most often brings people together?

In any case, admittedly, the idea is not a completely original one. There are, of course, a bunch of dating sites out there and even a few sites targeting this particular community. However, after taking a look and asking around, those particular sites aren’t very popular and have a few serious shortcomings, including one that only allows you to search for members of the opposite sex. I seriously think that we can put together a better, more useful site that will hopefully really hit the mark. We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel when it comes to the way people date– we’re just trying to give people a better way to find the type of people they want to date.

So, we’re working hard every free moment we’ve got and we’re scheduled for launch in August. In the meantime, visit meeteor.com and sign up to be notified when it goes live!

When did MySpace become so dirty?

Take a trip back and remember the clubland that was on the rise in NYC during the eighties and early nineties. Remember? They made a book, a documentary and then a movie about it with Seth Green and MacAulay Culkin and everything (Party Monster). All three pieces of media focused on the life of Michael Alig and his club kids and specifically, the murder of Angel Melendez that seemed to end it all. Now, while Angel’s death is certainly tragic and the effort to cover up the grotesque act is disturbing, I find the whole Clubland culture much more fascinating in general when it comes time to look back in history. Those crazy days of Clubland started off with some “innocent” fun– a bunch of kids dressing up in outrageous costumes and going to the clubs to become famous for being famous. There were substances, of course: alcohol, pot, ecstasy and even Special K, but soon Clubland was filled to the brim with every hard drug out there, young people were addicted and out of control and in the end, Clubland had become this weird, sleazy place with kids– some actually kids, some older trying to act like kids– reveling in some sick sex clown esthetic.

This is what it feels like sometimes on MySpace.

I signed up for a MySpace account a while ago because a friend of mine from high school said I should sign up. Now, I was already on Friendster, Orkut, and inCircle (the Stanford Alumni networking site that was the predecessor to Orkut). And since joining MySpace, I’ve also joined LinkedIn. It never stops and it’s sad really because I never do anything with those accounts after setting them up. Maybe I’ll put a new picture up once in a while when I get a good one, but that’s about it. Most of the time I usually end up using the system to reconnect with old friends. By putting myself out there on as many social networking sites I can, I hope that those I might have lost in touch with for whatever reason might be able to find me (and those I purposely lost touch with can see that I’m doing pretty well for myself). And this has been the case on most of these sites.

But who knew that MySpace would be the place I would reconnect with the most friends from high school and the like? And who knew MySpace with its janky site design (do you hear the circus music?) would beat out its more professional predecessors? Maybe it’s because MySpace, with its Tapioca Express color scheme and breadth of services (even though quantity not quality seems to be the rule here) hit it big when attracting young people to a place where they can easily put together an online profile, develop their own Web presence and use it to do a whole variety of things, from making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, tell each other about what’s going on in their lives, etc. Of course, the biggest thing that has happened is the downright naughtiness that has sprung up and taken over. Browse through the profiles and you’ll see a lot of photos of underage girls willing to show just about anything and equally clad guys just as eager to say anything.

Case in point: when I’m on these networking sites, I usually limit my interactions to those I know in real life and use the service as a way to come together in one virtual space to send notes to each other, let us know what’s going on in each others lives, maybe even introduce mutual friends, etc. It serves as a compliment to my social life in the real world. But now, on MySpace, aside from getting in touch with some old friends I haven’t talked to in almost 10 years, I also get the random messages asking for friendship/answer to a question or just plain out fucking. See, you take away most of the barriers to visibility, access and opportunity and we all just break down to the lowest common demonominator: sex.

Some examples of messages I have received:

Hello there. I ran across your profile on myspace and I think that you are very attractive. Check out my profile to see what you think of me and if you like what you see, you can email me at […] or message me on Yahoo ([…] is my screen name). I hope to hear from you soon.

Which is not that bad. It’s actually very nice. But here’s another one:

i’m checking my heart beats. think i’m missing one—omg…since i’m writing you personally i dont mind saying… you look fucking hot!! i would love to do you some “bad” things;)
anyway i’m not much of a writer but can talk (with an accent though;))
so if you feel comfortable gimme a call sometime. you are invited for milk and cookies;)

Does this work? Do these lines make women drop their panties and just want to fuck? I don’t know. It just seems like to me that no matter how attractive he might think I am, how could he really tell with the picture I have up there? It’s just a head shot and probably one of the more tame pictures out there compared to the naughty naughty stuff 15 and 16 year olds will put up there. Maybe I just have a look about me that invites trouble.

Now, facilitation of more risque (or at least “taboo”) and random sexual experiences has been a tried and true use of the Internet. However, for the most part, when people go on the net looking for “anonymous” sex, they usually try to stay just that: anonymous. They use pseudonyms and screennames, lie about their personal lives (spouses and the like), put up fake photos of themselves. And while people have certainly become more open about using the Internet for these kinds of interactions (just check out the casual encounters section on craigslist), I don’t know if they’re necessarily willing to divulge their identities so openly. But on MySpace, with the exception of the occasional fake celebrity profile, people seem surprisingly willing to a) divulge real and true information about themselves and b) be frank and open about their search for sex. Maybe it’s the simplicity of MySpace that invites a group of people that may be considered less “net savvy” (just take a look at some of the crap people put on their profile pages), but who they are, branch out to reconnect with old friends, and yet still reinvent themselves into something bigger and better and look for a way to meet new people and have new experiences…